How Do You Know If the Relationship You Have With Yourself is Strong?

I want to put this question out to you, what qualifies as a strong relationship to you? Do you hold those qualities in relationship with yourself?

Let’s explore this; we know we have a strong relationship with someone based off of how we feel when we are with that person, based on if we can trust that person, if we can rely on that person and if we can truly be our authentic selves with that person. So let’s ask ourselves this,

• How do I feel when I am with myself? Am I comfortable being my true authentic self when by myself?
• Can I trust myself to show up for myself?
• Can I rely on myself to take me through really trying times?

Overall you can currently tell this by;

• How you show up for yourself.
• How you treat yourself.
• How you feel about yourself.

There are four areas I want to focus on when helping you evaluate your relationship with yourself and how to enhance it.

1. Can you be your authentic self alone with yourself?
The whole spectrum of feelings.
Can you be silly and playful with yourself? This would mean you’re able to connect with your inner child, who is a part of you. Can you look at yourself in the mirror and make a funny face?
Can you cry and be vulnerable with yourself? This would mean you’re comfortable releasing emotions and you provide yourself a safe space to do that.
In your day to day, can you practice being present with yourself and truly enjoy being alone with yourself?

Explore these over the next few days/weeks. See what comes up for you. How you feel about each of these questions will tell you where you stand with how comfortable you are being your authentic self.

2. Trust = love
Trust is built off of many aspects. Let’s explore some.
Can you trust yourself to show up for yourself? In other words, do you keep commitments to yourself? Can you trust yourself to give yourself what you need? (You’re there for yourself – you can depend on yourself)
Can you provide a safe space for yourself? Can you carry yourself through dark times?

Think about relationships in your life that are built on trust. You whole-heartedly trust that person. You would define that as a strong relationship. I’m not just talking about romantic relationships either. Any relationship that is built on trust has a strong foundation. Trust equals love. When you can trust someone, you have a sense of love for them. Now apply this to yourself. The more you show up for yourself, stay committed to your goals and tasks, give yourself what you need, the more you learn that you can trust yourself.

3. Self-care – whatever that is for you
Self-care is a broad spectrum. Many things fall under the act of self-care. I want to talk about deep self-care, not mani/pedi’s.

Do you care enough for yourself to establish and hold to boundaries to protect your energy? We establish boundaries for a number of reasons. They might be with someone else or they might be with ourselves. Regardless, when you honor your boundary you are demonstrating that you can relie on yourself.
You know what you don’t want to put in your body, so you don’t put it in your body regardless of what others are doing. This can be anything from food, drink, substances, to cosmetic injections.

How do you speak to yourself when you make a mistake, have a setback or get off track? Are you kind and forgiving of yourself while you take yourself through some reflection and proactive solution-based thinking to move forward? Or do you judge or shame yourself only further creating a dislike for yourself?

Spend some time to think and reflect on these. They will let you know where you’re at in relationship with yourself. We all have room for deepening the relationship with ourselves to enhance our overall well-being, so if you would like support on this journey and are seeking to add more tools to your toolbox, check out my membership program Aligning with Alexis.